Northern Ballet School audition

My third audition was last Monday, for Northern Ballet School. I decided to ask my mum not to accompany me to the audition, as I wanted to be more independent; although I'd travelled to London alone, I had never been to Manchester, which involved 2 changes of train! When I was booking the tickets, it all seemed like a great idea- but at 4am on the morning of the audition, I randomly woke up feeling very apprehensive! (Luckily, I managed to get back to sleep for a few more hours!) 

Having travelled for three hours, almost getting on the wrong train twice and, due to delays having a crazy 3 minute dash to get off one train and onto the next, I finally arrived at Northern Ballet School. 

The day began with a performance from the students at the school. The Jazz piece looked very exciting, dynamic and stylish- but when they started their ballet piece, that persuaded me; I want to study here for the next three years. Their technical skill was evident, they also had excellent artistry and musicality- most importantly, they all looked so happy!

Next, we had a very informative talk from the Principal, Patricia McDonald. Then, it was time for the ballet class- we went to a beautiful studio to warm up. 

I don't remember the name of the teacher who led the class, but he was really lovely, ensuring we all understood the enchainements, which definitely helped me to dance as well as I could! 

 The class was quite simple- I was very relieved that the pointework wasn't too complicated! I get the sense that the school were looking for certain qualities, as we were asked to individually demi plie in first and seconde, tendu each foot, then show first arabesque whilst the panel made notes. Also, there was a short jazz section, which thankfully wasn't too complicated! 

I really enjoyed the audition experience- regardless if I get a place, it has definitely helped me in preparation for the rest of my auditions! 

Hope everyone else's auditions are going well <3

Royal Ballet School audition

At last, audition season began! My first audition was for the Royal Ballet School. So, after a wonderful morning of exploring Covent Garden, I arrived in Floral Street. Next door, the Opera House was a hive of activity, as swarms of paparazzi prepared for the BAFTA's!

Stepping through those beautiful glass doors felt like stepping into another world- a land of Strength and Grace. There was a lovely De Valois quote on the wall display; "Respect the Past, Herald the Future, but Concentrate on the Present", which I think is very relevant, particularly during audition season!! 

Lining up to sign in, I chatted to a friend who had been in the previous audition. Suddenly, I gasped "OhMyGosh- is that... Daria Klimentova?" It was- and to my joy, she taught the audition class!!!! 

In the studio stretching before the audition felt completely surreal- to actually be at The Royal Ballet School. I reflected upon my previous Royal auditions; aged thirteen, having barely danced, I naively believed that getting a place at White Lodge would be the only way for me to succeed in ballet. Aged fourteen, I auditioned again- desperately emaciated, as anorexia tortured my mind and body. In auditioning this year, I proved to myself that I didn't need to be thin to be successful- and the definition of success was happiness, not a Royal place!!!! I knew before I even applied that I wasn't going to get a place, but just dancing at the Royal was a phenomenal experience.

In the audition, there was a panel of four judges, whose names I don't remember, except for Mark Annear, who seemed very kind and encouraging. I recognised another dancer who had attended the Focus on Creativity seminar that I went to in November- her name was Chiara, she was a beautiful Italian dancer.

The class was fairly easy in terms of technique; it has given me confidence for my other auditions, but has also helped me to identify which steps I need to refine and focus on (coupe brise en arierre and promenade in arabesque!). There was a lovely sissonne (or should that be sisonne? Sissone?!) enchainement, which felt as if I was flying! I think the grand allegro and adagio were my favourite parts of the class! 

After the audition, there was a stall selling RBS merchandise...... I spent more money than I intended to, on a lovely vivid pink t-shirt, and stationery set embossed with the Royal logo!

On the way home, I wrote some poems about the audition, although it's very hard to put so many emotions into words!!

The air hovered, still.

Her mind at peace.

Yet radiating joy.

For she was here

Where she belonged

Where she was in control

Of her destiny.

She had a dream to chase.

Her pursuit led her here

Everything came to this.

She knew she was not perfect

Her mission was not to get a place

But to make her teacher proud.

And there, she knew

She succeeded enough.

And her joy, her passion

The sparkle returned to her eyes

Lifted her wings,

Her perfectly imperfect flight

Gave her faith for the 

Next leap.

I am here today
Not desiring success
As you define success.
Even being here today
Is achievement enough for me.
You do not remember
Naive, passionate, young
Number Ninety-Two.
I remember her.
You shaped her future
You set alight a hope.
Her candle flickered
And now burns brighter
Than ever before.
See it in her eyes.
See it in every shape
Illuminated by Strength and Grace.
Tomorrow, you will not remember me.
Today, my sparkle shall
Caress your world
And shine light on mine forever.

London Coliseum

Getting up at 5.30am is never usually fun. But on Sunday, being up, with my hair in a bun and my dance bag packed, all before 6am, seemed wonderfully exciting. Just a few hours later, I was in London, on the beautiful Coliseum stage, for an ENB Swan Lake masterclass.

We did class work to warm up, then learnt the Swans' Entrance (which, as it happened, I had already learnt twice before!). Having done the same masterclass two years ago, it was fabulous to be back at the Coliseum, knowing that I'd made progress since last time. Then, we got to watch company class. The stage became a dazzling array of dancers in vivid warmups- it was fascinating to see how they did whatever they needed to do to warm up; even though exercises were given at the barre, they didn't necessarily do the enchainement as it was taught. One dancer particularly stood out; the gorgeous Tamara Rojo, whose exquisite lines and yearning passion made her seem, even in class, as if she were Odette.  Her movements flowed like silk, with effortless grace and dynamic. 

In the afternoon- having had a delicious lunch at Zizzi- I went shopping for pointe shoes. It wasn't the most successful shopping trip; we started in Bloch, who were fully booked for pointe fittings- I tried flat shoes, but wasn't completely sure that I liked them. So, on to Dancia- who stocked Gaynor Minden, Grishko, Capulet, Merlet and Bloch Triomphe, but not my trusty Capezio Glisse or Bloch Aspiration! Next stop; Sansha..... Who didn't do pointe shoe fittings without an appointment! No time wasted, we dashed to Freed- but we barely even got into the shop, it was packed with people!!! (At this point, mum began to get slightly tired- but I was on a pointe shoe mission, and wouldn't be deterred!!!) Capezio, too, were fully booked- so guess what? 

We went back to where we started, Bloch! The Bloch shop reminds me a bit of the Harry Potter movies, when he went to choose a wand- the walls at Bloch are filled, almost from floor to ceiling, with boxes of shoes! I couldn't get a pointe shoe fitting (but fortunately i do have enough pairs of pointes to last until my next trip to London, in 3 weeks time!) but did get some lovely soft shoes. It was an excellent day out, I'm looking forward to my next trip to London :D

Why?

To a non-dancer, my obsession with ballet probably seems quite strange, so I will try to explain.....

Wanting to be a dancer, isn't something I think about occasionally. I think about it constantly. That desire, for the freedom yet perfect sense of control in dance, and to inspire, is always with me, in every breath, in every heartbeat. 

It's, walking in to college, seeing the steeple of St Mary's church in the distance, and thinking "I can see that steeple from the studio, I'd give anything to be there now". 

It's every night, when I can't sleep, thinking "what if? What if I got in?" Then suppressing the tiny glimmer of sheer joy that only appears at the daydream possibility of a destiny achieved.

 It's imagining- how would I really feel, if I had to live 385 miles from my family, just to go to ballet west- and thinking that I wouldn't even have time to miss them, because I'd be so busy, and happy- and if I was stressed, well I could spend 7 hours a day dancing the stress away.

You know if you were grieving, how you would feel almost a physical pain, beneath your ribs, as if there was an open cavern of longing, an emotional pain so powerful it felt like a physical pain? That was what I felt, last year on the night that I found out I didn't get in to the school of ballet theatre UK. And that feeling never really went away- but now the cavern of longing is full, full of passion. It is that passion that keeps me alive- that passion is why sometimes even at lunchtime at school, I go to the dance studio, to relieve the emotions, finding beauty through the expressiveness of movement. It is why, I take fifteen hours a week of ballet classes- and spend at least a further fifteen hours a week at the gym, yoga or swimming, doing anything- everything- that I can, to build up my strength, so that one day, the judges at a vocational school audition will see me and think "She isn't perfect, but she has strength, grace, and an undeniable passion. We'll give her a chance."

It's that feeling, in class, feeling as if you have at last found the place where you belong. Somewhere where you are valued, your passion is nurtured, and you can develop as a unique artist, not confined to society's ideals.

The school day, 9 till 3, is, and has been for a long time, a mere inconvenience, a formality that I can go through without thought. 

The real day starts in the evening- when I am with Miss Kaye or Miss Angela, learning, and being grateful to learn. 

I'm not naive any more (but was I ever?!); I don't expect it to be easy- the reality is, that ballet looks pretty, but the training regimes, rehearsals and performances, are somewhat gruelling. Being a dancer, means working twelve or thirteen hours a day, relentlessly, pushing our bodies to their limits to achieve ethereal grace and perfection. Burning the candle at both ends- but the flame of passion inside me will never burn out. 

And I know that if I got in, I'd probably be the worst in the class! I know that if by a miracle I got a company contract somewhere, I'd be on the back row forever; Swan #30, not Odette, Villager, not Kitri, Flower Waltz, not Lilac Fairy. But that is fine! Because I would be dancing every day! I suppose, to me, ballet is what socialising is to you. Imagine that you're not allowed to talk to or hug anyone for a day. Imagine the feeling of oppression, of anger, of "this isn't right, can't they see that I'm not supposed to be like this" That's how I feel if I have a day without ballet- that's why, in the holidays, I worked constantly on pirouettes, adage and core strength, just because the need for movement, for expression, is as important to me as the need to breathe is. 

"Ballet isn't just a hobby, a passion, an obsession- it is life."

Festive fun; part 2

I know it's taken me forever, I meant to write this post about 3 weeks ago- sorry!!! 

Anyway; Nutcracker. I first saw BRB's Nutcracker three years ago and it was amazing, so I was excited to see it again- it certainly didn't disappoint!!! 

The technical aspects of the performance were superb; Drosselmeyer appeared in a puff of smoke and sparkles, to perform magic tricks, and then of course repair Clara's doll- the doll's head slid effortlessly back into place, without even being touched! 

The set was luxurious, with lavish burgundy curtains and furnishing, that made the Staulbaum home seem like the perfect place for a cosy Christmas party. In Act 2, the corps de ballet showed good unison and artistry in the Snow Dance, also in the second half the Arabian dance was particularly dynamic and graceful. (As the music began, someone behind me loudly whispered "is this the Turkish dance? Yes, it's the Turkish one!!" I believe you are mistaken.....)

However, I felt that at times some of the principals lacked expression, particularly in the sugar plum fairy pas de deux. 

The coda wasn't quite as dazzling as one would've hoped- the dancers seemed tired, as such their fouettés weren't quite of Principal standard, also the gargouillades in the sugar plum solo lacked precision and height at times. All in all though, it was a lovely festive treat, that seemed to get everyone in a Christmassy mood! 

Festive Fun (Part 1)

On Sunday 13th December, me and my friend Chantelle went to Birmingham, to see Birmingham Royal Ballet's production of The Nutcracker. Also, as a special treat, the assistant director, Marion Tait, had very kindly allowed us to watch Company Class before the show. When she introduced herself to us, I was completely in awe of her; she was tiny and neat, yet had an amazing sense of quiet authority; a non-dancer walking past her in the street probably wouldn't give her a second glance, but in our world, she is like royalty.

Class was absolutely fascinating; we watched as around twenty five female dancers stretched, dressed in a dazzling assortment of warmups. Miss Tait gave class; she taught the enchainements very quickly, and the dancers looked, surprisingly, as if they were barely paying attention, yet they danced exquisitely. It was interesting to see how each dancer adjusted the class very slightly to fit their own needs; for example, First Artist, Ruth Brill, (who, to my delight, having taught me two years ago at Midland Theatre Ballet, still recognised me!), took all of her barre exercises on a croise alignment to the barre, so that she could see herself more clearly in the mirror. There were four dancers in Royal Ballet School uniform; judging by their burgundy cap-sleeved leotards, I believed they were in the Graduate Year of Upper School. They danced beautifully, the epitome of the British style. One girl in particular had spectacular feet, her demi pointe was phenomenal!

In the centre work, it was hard not to be captivated by the graceful lines and confidence of Soloist, Celine Gittens. Her pirouettes were amazing; her projection and dynamics made her seem as if she could effortlessly dance Principal roles with any company in the world. 

However, it was reassuring to see how all of the dancers messed up a step once or twice; even the best dancers in the world make mistakes occasionally! 

It was also comforting to see that even though the enchainements were long and complex, the steps were no more difficult than those that I regularly do in class- although the brises and entrechats six in the very fast petit allegro looked challenging! To my surprise, not every dancer did every enchainement in the centre- my instinctive thought was that if I were in their position, I would be very tempted to miss out the petit allegro every day, but I then realised that I would need to be a lot more strict with myself, or else my batterie steps would begin to look even worse than they do now! ;)

The class finished with a dazzling grand allegro enchainement with one of my favourite steps, sissones, that I wished I could join in with!!!

We had a while to explore the very busy German Christmas Market, before heading back to the theatre for the Nutcracker performance.

We took our seats, in the upper circle- the view of the stage was a lot better than I had expected! The overture began, and the curtain rose, to take us on our Christmassy adventure.... 

Class

I regularly blog about performances and special classes, however perhaps I have overlooked the beauty of a regular class. To dancers, a daily class is vital; to keep our bodies supple and agile, but also for the joy of dance. I do find it frustrating that at least five hours a day during the week I am expected to attend academic school; I walk to school listening to ballet music, visualising the enchainements, and as such, feel very stifled when I have to endure a lesson on poetry, when I just want to dance! But in the evening, when I take class, it feels as if my day is just beginning.

 I particularly enjoy Thursdays; I have an hour and a half of pointework, followed by an hour of Intermediate ballet, and a further hour and a half, of Advanced 2 ballet. I love how, in the space of four hours, I explore every aspect of classical technique, from the simple beauty of single pirouettes en pointe, to the new, challenging steps such as gargouillades and double pirouettes in attitude or arabesque. Even though a full day of school followed by 4 hours of ballet can be tiring, being in class is the time at which I feel most alive; I have done the Intermediate class for a few years so I know every intricate detail of the syllabus, yet the class is far from boring, there is always a new nuance to find in the music, or a different dynamic to the steps. In contrast, the Advanced 2 syllabus is still quite unfamiliar, yet it feels amazing to dance.

One of my other classes, is the Classical Award 2 IDTA syllabus. In my private lesson on Tuesday, my teacher spoke to me about that class; she said that since I joined, the other girls have paid more attention, she thinks they envy me, they are working harder because they admire my dedication and ability in dance. I felt surprised yet completely honoured to hear that, it is the most incredible thing to know that I have inspired people, that they watch my work in class and it makes them want to work harder.

Its hard to explain to a non-dancer why we dance, why we consistently work, why every atom of our refined, graceful physique longs for that surreal moment, when we can do what makes us happy in the way that nothing else can. There’s just something incredible about how when music and movement reach their perfect fusion, and the body is challenged yet comforted by the movements. Perhaps only dancers will understand; the feeling that I am trying to describe is that of the exhilaration in double pique turns, the perfect second of poised stillness as an arabesque penche reaches its peak, even the long-awaited catharsis, the sense of relief and release to be dancing, that comes with an exercise as simple, as ritualised, as plies at the barre. I suppose that as I have grown older, I have learnt that it isn’t just performances that are special; every class is a unique phenomena, we are given the gift of knowledge and skill, to refine our art, to achieve and accomplish, and that is a gift for which I am so grateful.