Swan Lake

Four years ago, I saw Swan Lake for the first time- it was that which inspired me to dance. The Russian State Ballet of Siberia this year toured the UK again, and I went to see Swan Lake, with my beloved grandad, who loves Tchaikovsky's music but had never seen a ballet.

Flicking through the programme, I was pleased to see that some of the Principals I had seen before, particularly Ekaterina Bulgatova and Margherita Noisik, were still with the company; Anna Aulle, however, is now a principal with the Stanislavsky Ballet.

Another thing that caught my eye was the photograph, of the company's headquarters in Siberia.

What is it, about that overture, that makes it so indescribably beautiful?! As it wanders and meanders its way through a million emotions- slowly building, like a volcano of passion, such that the air hovers still for a second, then, in a dynamic explosion that makes every atom of our being shiver with awe, it reaches its breathtaking crescendo.

And the curtain rises.

The lavish court scenes were danced with joy, the luxurious backdrop and costumes setting the scene perfectly. One thing I found interesting was how, in the male dancers' pirouettes, they articulated their feet slowly and deliberately through the tendu to 2nd, then *bam!* the foot hit a plie in 4th and the dancer effortlessly executed five or six flawless turns. However, their 4th in the demi plie was very, very open- it was as if he was in 2nd, but with one foot where it would be in 4th with the alignment of 2nd! Very flashy!

The Director of the Company, Sergei Bobrov, seemed to have edited the original choreography; after the Goblet Dance, the lights dimmed; Seigfried was poised in 2nd arabesque; was this the transition to the lake scene? Indeed, the spotlight that guided Seigfried through the opening steps of his solo seemed to shine like moonlight.... Von Rothbart, with the wings of a black raven in place of his usual sweeping cape, entered, to dance a duet with Seigfried- although neither character acknowledged or seemed to notice the other, and their movements were mostly contrasting, with some perfect moments of poised unison and grace. 

Then, Von Rothbart disappeared, and the court scene continued- although the villagers pas de trois was omitted. Interestingly, at the end of the court scene, the lights dimmed and Rothbart appeared again- as before, he did not interact with Seigfried as such, seeming to imply that, instead of going to the lake to hunt as in the traditional version, Seigfried was instead drawn to the lake by the black raven Rothbart.

I knew every step of the Swans entrance, having studied it in three masterclasses over the last few years!! Interestingly, in the temps leves in arabesque, the swans inclined their heads towards their arm, creating the shape of a swan nuzzling its wings, but sacrificing the purity of line that would usually be seen in arabesque- I couldn't quite work out whether I liked this new interpretation of the swans' mannerisms or not!

The Cygnets pas de quatre was sublime; they danced as if their minds and bodies worked as one, in immaculate synchrony, with precise entrechats and neatly articulated echappes.

In the second half, the National dances seemed to take longer than in other productions; I couldn't quite identify which nationalities were presented, but I particularly enjoyed the mazurka, and the vivacious Spanish princess solo.

Then, Odile entered, to deliver a spectacular solo which rivalled that of Miko Fogarty- the coda had not thirty-two, but thirty six fouettes, with doubles and triples effortlessly thrown in. 

The Prince's coda had the same music as Odile's, but at half the speed, as his jetes en tournant and ménage seemed to hover, suspended in the air.

As the Prince swore his undying love mistakenly to Odile, the lights glowed red- he realised his awful mistake, and rushed to the lake, where Odette and her swans grieved his infidelity. 

Seigfried battled Von Rothbart into the lake, and both were engulfed by its icy waters- however, this cathartic scene was disappointingly staged- the billowing 'lake' seemed to be a single blue sheet, beneath which Seigfried and Rothbart both noticeably exited to the wings- perhaps more material would've concealed their exit.

The final scene was phenomenal though; the orchestra were incredible; their music seemed to show Odette's grief as much as the movement did; at the curtain calls, I did wonder if it was acceptable to cheer or give a standing ovation!!!!

Northern Ballet School audition

My third audition was last Monday, for Northern Ballet School. I decided to ask my mum not to accompany me to the audition, as I wanted to be more independent; although I'd travelled to London alone, I had never been to Manchester, which involved 2 changes of train! When I was booking the tickets, it all seemed like a great idea- but at 4am on the morning of the audition, I randomly woke up feeling very apprehensive! (Luckily, I managed to get back to sleep for a few more hours!) 

Having travelled for three hours, almost getting on the wrong train twice and, due to delays having a crazy 3 minute dash to get off one train and onto the next, I finally arrived at Northern Ballet School. 

The day began with a performance from the students at the school. The Jazz piece looked very exciting, dynamic and stylish- but when they started their ballet piece, that persuaded me; I want to study here for the next three years. Their technical skill was evident, they also had excellent artistry and musicality- most importantly, they all looked so happy!

Next, we had a very informative talk from the Principal, Patricia McDonald. Then, it was time for the ballet class- we went to a beautiful studio to warm up. 

I don't remember the name of the teacher who led the class, but he was really lovely, ensuring we all understood the enchainements, which definitely helped me to dance as well as I could! 

 The class was quite simple- I was very relieved that the pointework wasn't too complicated! I get the sense that the school were looking for certain qualities, as we were asked to individually demi plie in first and seconde, tendu each foot, then show first arabesque whilst the panel made notes. Also, there was a short jazz section, which thankfully wasn't too complicated! 

I really enjoyed the audition experience- regardless if I get a place, it has definitely helped me in preparation for the rest of my auditions! 

Hope everyone else's auditions are going well <3

Royal Ballet School audition

At last, audition season began! My first audition was for the Royal Ballet School. So, after a wonderful morning of exploring Covent Garden, I arrived in Floral Street. Next door, the Opera House was a hive of activity, as swarms of paparazzi prepared for the BAFTA's!

Stepping through those beautiful glass doors felt like stepping into another world- a land of Strength and Grace. There was a lovely De Valois quote on the wall display; "Respect the Past, Herald the Future, but Concentrate on the Present", which I think is very relevant, particularly during audition season!! 

Lining up to sign in, I chatted to a friend who had been in the previous audition. Suddenly, I gasped "OhMyGosh- is that... Daria Klimentova?" It was- and to my joy, she taught the audition class!!!! 

In the studio stretching before the audition felt completely surreal- to actually be at The Royal Ballet School. I reflected upon my previous Royal auditions; aged thirteen, having barely danced, I naively believed that getting a place at White Lodge would be the only way for me to succeed in ballet. Aged fourteen, I auditioned again- desperately emaciated, as anorexia tortured my mind and body. In auditioning this year, I proved to myself that I didn't need to be thin to be successful- and the definition of success was happiness, not a Royal place!!!! I knew before I even applied that I wasn't going to get a place, but just dancing at the Royal was a phenomenal experience.

In the audition, there was a panel of four judges, whose names I don't remember, except for Mark Annear, who seemed very kind and encouraging. I recognised another dancer who had attended the Focus on Creativity seminar that I went to in November- her name was Chiara, she was a beautiful Italian dancer.

The class was fairly easy in terms of technique; it has given me confidence for my other auditions, but has also helped me to identify which steps I need to refine and focus on (coupe brise en arierre and promenade in arabesque!). There was a lovely sissonne (or should that be sisonne? Sissone?!) enchainement, which felt as if I was flying! I think the grand allegro and adagio were my favourite parts of the class! 

After the audition, there was a stall selling RBS merchandise...... I spent more money than I intended to, on a lovely vivid pink t-shirt, and stationery set embossed with the Royal logo!

On the way home, I wrote some poems about the audition, although it's very hard to put so many emotions into words!!

The air hovered, still.

Her mind at peace.

Yet radiating joy.

For she was here

Where she belonged

Where she was in control

Of her destiny.

She had a dream to chase.

Her pursuit led her here

Everything came to this.

She knew she was not perfect

Her mission was not to get a place

But to make her teacher proud.

And there, she knew

She succeeded enough.

And her joy, her passion

The sparkle returned to her eyes

Lifted her wings,

Her perfectly imperfect flight

Gave her faith for the 

Next leap.

I am here today
Not desiring success
As you define success.
Even being here today
Is achievement enough for me.
You do not remember
Naive, passionate, young
Number Ninety-Two.
I remember her.
You shaped her future
You set alight a hope.
Her candle flickered
And now burns brighter
Than ever before.
See it in her eyes.
See it in every shape
Illuminated by Strength and Grace.
Tomorrow, you will not remember me.
Today, my sparkle shall
Caress your world
And shine light on mine forever.

London Coliseum

Getting up at 5.30am is never usually fun. But on Sunday, being up, with my hair in a bun and my dance bag packed, all before 6am, seemed wonderfully exciting. Just a few hours later, I was in London, on the beautiful Coliseum stage, for an ENB Swan Lake masterclass.

We did class work to warm up, then learnt the Swans' Entrance (which, as it happened, I had already learnt twice before!). Having done the same masterclass two years ago, it was fabulous to be back at the Coliseum, knowing that I'd made progress since last time. Then, we got to watch company class. The stage became a dazzling array of dancers in vivid warmups- it was fascinating to see how they did whatever they needed to do to warm up; even though exercises were given at the barre, they didn't necessarily do the enchainement as it was taught. One dancer particularly stood out; the gorgeous Tamara Rojo, whose exquisite lines and yearning passion made her seem, even in class, as if she were Odette.  Her movements flowed like silk, with effortless grace and dynamic. 

In the afternoon- having had a delicious lunch at Zizzi- I went shopping for pointe shoes. It wasn't the most successful shopping trip; we started in Bloch, who were fully booked for pointe fittings- I tried flat shoes, but wasn't completely sure that I liked them. So, on to Dancia- who stocked Gaynor Minden, Grishko, Capulet, Merlet and Bloch Triomphe, but not my trusty Capezio Glisse or Bloch Aspiration! Next stop; Sansha..... Who didn't do pointe shoe fittings without an appointment! No time wasted, we dashed to Freed- but we barely even got into the shop, it was packed with people!!! (At this point, mum began to get slightly tired- but I was on a pointe shoe mission, and wouldn't be deterred!!!) Capezio, too, were fully booked- so guess what? 

We went back to where we started, Bloch! The Bloch shop reminds me a bit of the Harry Potter movies, when he went to choose a wand- the walls at Bloch are filled, almost from floor to ceiling, with boxes of shoes! I couldn't get a pointe shoe fitting (but fortunately i do have enough pairs of pointes to last until my next trip to London, in 3 weeks time!) but did get some lovely soft shoes. It was an excellent day out, I'm looking forward to my next trip to London :D

Why?

To a non-dancer, my obsession with ballet probably seems quite strange, so I will try to explain.....

Wanting to be a dancer, isn't something I think about occasionally. I think about it constantly. That desire, for the freedom yet perfect sense of control in dance, and to inspire, is always with me, in every breath, in every heartbeat. 

It's, walking in to college, seeing the steeple of St Mary's church in the distance, and thinking "I can see that steeple from the studio, I'd give anything to be there now". 

It's every night, when I can't sleep, thinking "what if? What if I got in?" Then suppressing the tiny glimmer of sheer joy that only appears at the daydream possibility of a destiny achieved.

 It's imagining- how would I really feel, if I had to live 385 miles from my family, just to go to ballet west- and thinking that I wouldn't even have time to miss them, because I'd be so busy, and happy- and if I was stressed, well I could spend 7 hours a day dancing the stress away.

You know if you were grieving, how you would feel almost a physical pain, beneath your ribs, as if there was an open cavern of longing, an emotional pain so powerful it felt like a physical pain? That was what I felt, last year on the night that I found out I didn't get in to the school of ballet theatre UK. And that feeling never really went away- but now the cavern of longing is full, full of passion. It is that passion that keeps me alive- that passion is why sometimes even at lunchtime at school, I go to the dance studio, to relieve the emotions, finding beauty through the expressiveness of movement. It is why, I take fifteen hours a week of ballet classes- and spend at least a further fifteen hours a week at the gym, yoga or swimming, doing anything- everything- that I can, to build up my strength, so that one day, the judges at a vocational school audition will see me and think "She isn't perfect, but she has strength, grace, and an undeniable passion. We'll give her a chance."

It's that feeling, in class, feeling as if you have at last found the place where you belong. Somewhere where you are valued, your passion is nurtured, and you can develop as a unique artist, not confined to society's ideals.

The school day, 9 till 3, is, and has been for a long time, a mere inconvenience, a formality that I can go through without thought. 

The real day starts in the evening- when I am with Miss Kaye or Miss Angela, learning, and being grateful to learn. 

I'm not naive any more (but was I ever?!); I don't expect it to be easy- the reality is, that ballet looks pretty, but the training regimes, rehearsals and performances, are somewhat gruelling. Being a dancer, means working twelve or thirteen hours a day, relentlessly, pushing our bodies to their limits to achieve ethereal grace and perfection. Burning the candle at both ends- but the flame of passion inside me will never burn out. 

And I know that if I got in, I'd probably be the worst in the class! I know that if by a miracle I got a company contract somewhere, I'd be on the back row forever; Swan #30, not Odette, Villager, not Kitri, Flower Waltz, not Lilac Fairy. But that is fine! Because I would be dancing every day! I suppose, to me, ballet is what socialising is to you. Imagine that you're not allowed to talk to or hug anyone for a day. Imagine the feeling of oppression, of anger, of "this isn't right, can't they see that I'm not supposed to be like this" That's how I feel if I have a day without ballet- that's why, in the holidays, I worked constantly on pirouettes, adage and core strength, just because the need for movement, for expression, is as important to me as the need to breathe is. 

"Ballet isn't just a hobby, a passion, an obsession- it is life."

Festive fun; part 2

I know it's taken me forever, I meant to write this post about 3 weeks ago- sorry!!! 

Anyway; Nutcracker. I first saw BRB's Nutcracker three years ago and it was amazing, so I was excited to see it again- it certainly didn't disappoint!!! 

The technical aspects of the performance were superb; Drosselmeyer appeared in a puff of smoke and sparkles, to perform magic tricks, and then of course repair Clara's doll- the doll's head slid effortlessly back into place, without even being touched! 

The set was luxurious, with lavish burgundy curtains and furnishing, that made the Staulbaum home seem like the perfect place for a cosy Christmas party. In Act 2, the corps de ballet showed good unison and artistry in the Snow Dance, also in the second half the Arabian dance was particularly dynamic and graceful. (As the music began, someone behind me loudly whispered "is this the Turkish dance? Yes, it's the Turkish one!!" I believe you are mistaken.....)

However, I felt that at times some of the principals lacked expression, particularly in the sugar plum fairy pas de deux. 

The coda wasn't quite as dazzling as one would've hoped- the dancers seemed tired, as such their fouettés weren't quite of Principal standard, also the gargouillades in the sugar plum solo lacked precision and height at times. All in all though, it was a lovely festive treat, that seemed to get everyone in a Christmassy mood! 

Festive Fun (Part 1)

On Sunday 13th December, me and my friend Chantelle went to Birmingham, to see Birmingham Royal Ballet's production of The Nutcracker. Also, as a special treat, the assistant director, Marion Tait, had very kindly allowed us to watch Company Class before the show. When she introduced herself to us, I was completely in awe of her; she was tiny and neat, yet had an amazing sense of quiet authority; a non-dancer walking past her in the street probably wouldn't give her a second glance, but in our world, she is like royalty.

Class was absolutely fascinating; we watched as around twenty five female dancers stretched, dressed in a dazzling assortment of warmups. Miss Tait gave class; she taught the enchainements very quickly, and the dancers looked, surprisingly, as if they were barely paying attention, yet they danced exquisitely. It was interesting to see how each dancer adjusted the class very slightly to fit their own needs; for example, First Artist, Ruth Brill, (who, to my delight, having taught me two years ago at Midland Theatre Ballet, still recognised me!), took all of her barre exercises on a croise alignment to the barre, so that she could see herself more clearly in the mirror. There were four dancers in Royal Ballet School uniform; judging by their burgundy cap-sleeved leotards, I believed they were in the Graduate Year of Upper School. They danced beautifully, the epitome of the British style. One girl in particular had spectacular feet, her demi pointe was phenomenal!

In the centre work, it was hard not to be captivated by the graceful lines and confidence of Soloist, Celine Gittens. Her pirouettes were amazing; her projection and dynamics made her seem as if she could effortlessly dance Principal roles with any company in the world. 

However, it was reassuring to see how all of the dancers messed up a step once or twice; even the best dancers in the world make mistakes occasionally! 

It was also comforting to see that even though the enchainements were long and complex, the steps were no more difficult than those that I regularly do in class- although the brises and entrechats six in the very fast petit allegro looked challenging! To my surprise, not every dancer did every enchainement in the centre- my instinctive thought was that if I were in their position, I would be very tempted to miss out the petit allegro every day, but I then realised that I would need to be a lot more strict with myself, or else my batterie steps would begin to look even worse than they do now! ;)

The class finished with a dazzling grand allegro enchainement with one of my favourite steps, sissones, that I wished I could join in with!!!

We had a while to explore the very busy German Christmas Market, before heading back to the theatre for the Nutcracker performance.

We took our seats, in the upper circle- the view of the stage was a lot better than I had expected! The overture began, and the curtain rose, to take us on our Christmassy adventure....